the silencer

I'm quite free recently. nothing else to do.. well,it's not actually nothing to do,but i'm kinda lazy. lazy to hang out..lazy to talk..lazy to ..... just wanna stay in my world for a moment. For this time,nothing else matters. I don't feel like want to do things,or even eat. no idea why. I faced insomnia too..it started since the day before i sat for business mathmatics,my final exams..until now. 1st it's just until 2am.and now it's getting worst.. from 2am to 4am..then yesterday to 6am..

OMG.. kinda helpless now.. everything just went wrong. why is this happening?

I love you

''I Love You'' they are not just words to me.

They mean a lot of things to everyone.Some people can say oit to anyone. But sometimes, those three little words can scare a people away or bring them closer together. You can 'i love you' because of the friendship you share, or even 'i love you'' for the special moments you share. Just tell some one you love them when you really mean it. because there are idiots in this world that are willing to wait for a life time. I LOVE YOU, they aren't just three little words.

smiling,who's that fool?

It is 3.30am. I m sitting here and doing nothing. Suddenly, you appeared on my mind. I wished you were honest to me last time, and not denying everything.This is not what i hoped for.I got blurred for every decision you made,when yan gave me clue that you're still in love with me.I stunned.you stopped me for chasing you,avoided me,refused to text me back and... why did you choose a hard path? don't be silly if you think that's best for me. Nothing is except,you. you're the best thing ever happened on my.you gave me hope,you change me,you guided me,you care and most importantly you made me feel being loved. I was wondering of something the night after we settled things down,would i ever make the same decision if i have the time machine? i would say yes. I would decide to study form 6. I would choose to have fun with my gang. but i wouldn't choose to leave you. i'm a fool. A fool that gave threw things up. I fool that loves you so much,until it leads to lust. Fool. I smiled every time people call me ''fool li hui'' because i know i'm surely is. I don't mind you hurting me,although it is pain,but guess what,i'm a tough and strong human. I'll still love you like i always do,even if i move on. I'll be by your side whenever you needs me. Love you.

hate you? not a chance

It’s an aweful day here. Things just went wrong all the time. Why is this happening? If i did something wrong, just tell me. I would love to hear it rather than you blocked me on msn and deleted me on facebook. I suppose you had read my posts from both networks, but it wasn’t you whom i meant. It’s a guy, he’s my primary school friend . What makes you think that it is you? I love you so much.. more than everything. Why would it be you the one i hate?

remember november

November

A month to remember

days filled with sorrows, tired eyes and brain

Weeks filled with examination papers

mouth are filled with junk foods

hands are filled with books and notes

lips murmuring and legs crossed

phone are off and the sounds of fan spinning

made my heart beat goes fast

All of sudden, pupils called and requested of shutting down the system

and it ends up on bed..

One wish

If I could have just one wish,

I would wish to wake up everyday

to the sound of your breath on my neck,

the warmth of your lips on my cheek,

the touch of your fingers on my skin,

and the feel of your heart beating with mine...

Knowing that I could never find that feeling

with anyone other than you.

love,

fei

my love to you,maria.

The heart never forgets. It’s been awhile since we last spoke. I finally told you I miss you. You did not say it back. This time when I said I’m done, I meant it. I will never stop loving you. But I will try to move on and find better love. I know years from now my heart will still have a special spot for you. I know I don’t deserve love from you. But I love you. I was shattered and broken. But somehow..I found the strength within..I never knew I had. I still cry sometimes after everything we have been through. After everything we've done together, I recall it all the time. What I did together with you, were the sweetest ever. If I'm allowed to have special wish, I would hope that the memories between us would behold in me until I die.

what a day!

Today is the day i had been waiting throughout the whole week. The day to present company analysis about Starbucks company and the final quiz for business maths.And guess what,our marketing lecturer praised us for doing extremely well on our company analysis!! Yahooo..

Business mathematics' Humor

4pm,dewan kuliah pusat 3

Dr Q=LEC Students=Stu

Hundreds of students had all the emo, sad and frustrated faces while they sat for the quiz.

Lec:'' you can open your books and refer to the examples''

Stu:''YAY!!''

Lec:''Shhhhh...but...but... if you fail your quiz for this time,i will not let you pass your final exam''

Stu:"HARH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'' ''why like that!!!!"

Lec:''HARH????????'' ''Shhh...Now do..Come on.. time is running.Only 4 questions."

After 4 mintues

Lec:''1 minute left''

Stu:"HARH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'' !$@?#%#$*

Lec:"HARH??????????"

(LAUGHS)

Lec:''Ok.Few more questions''

Stu:"Sighhhhhhhhhhh~~~"

Lec:''Come on-come on''

(Moments later)

Lec:''who thinks that the question is simple? please raise your hand.''

NONE.

Lec:''who thinks that 50% of these are easy? please put up your hand''

NONE.

Lec:''are the questions hard?''

Stu:"YES'

Lec:''how are is it?''

Stu:"VERY HARD"

Lec:''Owwww... ''

then he continued ''Come on-come on, continue solving.''

(Minutes later)

Lec: ''today is just the revision for the quiz,ok?''

Stu: ''Ahhh!!!'' ''YAY''

(CLAPS)

Lec: ''shhhh... now, the reason why i make it as revision is because a lot of students went to labuan for competition. So next week will be the real quiz.Ok?''

Stu:''Kkkkkk...''

(CLAPS)

Lec:'' So make sure you go back and revise all,and come back again next week''

Students: ''Oooo''

Maths is my killing subject. i died twice for the last 2 tests. Now, i given up all my soul and mind on it. i don't feel like loving it anymore. i wish i have a twin sister who could help me to sit for it. Sigh...

Jauhnya kau pegiiiiii....

Pernah ada rasa cinta antara kita

kini tinggal kenangan

ingin kulupakan semua tentang dirimu

namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu

oh bintangku

jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diriku

disini aku merindukan dirimu

kini kucoba mencari penggantimu

namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu

oh kekasih

jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diriku

disini aku merindukan dirimu

kini kucoba mencari penggantimu

namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu

oh kekasih

pernah ada rasa cinta antara kita

kini tinggal kenangan

ingin kulupakan semua tentang dirimu

namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu

oh bintangku

jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diriku

disini aku merindukan dirimu

kini kucoba mencari penggantimu

namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu

oh kekasih

Self-Critism

“Judgment stands as an obstacle to self-love.

When you form judgments about another person,

for instance, “this person looks like a lazy person,

or a failure, or has terrible clothes,” you create

a message to your subconscious that the world

is a place where you had better act in certain

ways if you want to be accepted...that you are

only going to accept yourself under certain

conditions. This leads to an inner dialogue of

self-criticism.”

- Orin -

Only human

I'm sorry that I was wrong and jumped into the wrong conclusion.I am sorry that you are hurt.And honestly the guilt is tearing me up,into pieces.I hope that you see that I am human and made a terrible error in judgement.I always knew that I never deserved the way you loved me once.While it lasted, it was the best thing I ever felt, and the best thing I ever did- I did with you.You are the love of both our lives and the only joy left for me in this life.I was never good enough to be loved by you.

can u apply this in your life?

一、要敢于吃苦，不要被困难打倒。

　　吃的苦中苦，方为人上人。其实我个人来讲，不喜欢这句话的后半句，因为我们没必要一味的去追求什么人上人，还是自然点好，平平淡淡才最真。人应该活得真实，活得自在，活得阳光，活得自我。 人生本是一条风雨相伴的路。生活中，每个人遇到的坎不一样，有着太多的荆棘与坎坷。或大或小，或多或少......但只要敢于去吃苦，是没有什么过不去的，面对困难不能轻易言弃，哪怕再苦，毕竟累不死人；可能一生中困难重重，也可能一辈子会与苦相伴，也要继续坚持着，毕竟我们还可以苦中作乐。学会用直面坎坷的从容和身为万物之灵的睿智去战胜自己,学会去诠释生命.......

二、要踏实巧干，不要玩弄虚作假。

　　付出一份真诚，收获一些喜悦，踏踏实实干好本职工作，不要当面一套，背后一套。我们要坚信付出是有回报的， 生命的定义也已不言而遇，那就是奋斗、去与命运抗争，去按照自己的目标走完自己的人生之路。或许风雨过后的彩虹不一定是那么的绚目，但只要学会去欣赏，相信它一定是最美的。吃亏并不是傻、而是福，用自己的实干加巧干去多劳才能多得，撕掉伪装、见机行事，要知道你的耕耘会感动他人和上天的；不要整天只想着如何投机取巧、如何装小空子、如何去施展自己的小聪明，要明白关键时候群众的眼睛是最雪亮的。

三、要端正心态，不要去盲目攀比。

　　生命最大的悲哀不在于贫穷，不在于卑微，而于价值感方向感和端正心度。每个人出生的环境和家庭条件都不一样，千万不能去埋怨自己没有生活在一个富有的家庭。有钱人有有钱人的薄酒和烦恼，穷人有穷人的洒脱和快乐，不要去与有钱人比，因为有钱的概念很难讲清，切忌一万家底去跟百万的比名牌、百万与上亿的比奢侈……，山外有山，你永远不会在“比”的问题上占到任何便宜的。把自己心态调整好，不与别人比，只与自己比，在知足中去享受自己实际条件下的生活，无偿不是人生之乐。

四、要放开度量，不要小肚鸡肠。

　　与素质高的人交往我们要客客气气，与素质低的人接触也要做到彬彬有礼，这样才能显示出你本人的素质。不能高瞻别人、不要小看自己、不可鄙视他人，尤其是遇到矛盾纠纷时，要主动去忍让，退一步海阔天空。家人、朋友、同事之间多多包涵小节、处处相互体谅，放开心胸去溶纳别人的缺点与不足，万不能遇事斤斤计较。尤其是大事大非面前，一定要沉着冷静处事，不要冲动，有理也可让三分。

五、要摆正位置，不要自以为是

　　隔行如隔山，我们每个人都有自己的行业，每个人也有不同的职位。我们没有理由去看不起别人，更没有理由对哪个行业或者职位较低者另眼相看。因为我们都是人，人都应该是平等的，你是亿万富翁并一定你比民工兄弟身体强壮，你也并一定比农民朋友活得坦然。人各有所长、各有所能，并不是你的行业或者你的处境就比别人更高一筹，所以我们要一视同仁，万万不能给自己的眼睛涂上另类的颜色。

六、要不断奋斗，不为满足现状

　　生活，为生而活，为活着而活。《士兵突击》中很经典的台词：活着就是要干有意思的事。我们活着当然要去干有意思的事，当然要去追求更美好的东西，当然要去为自己的计划目标不懈努力。在当今风云变幻的信息时代，不学习是远远跟不了大众的步伐的，只要是不想被社会大潮完全淘汰的人，就应该不断奋斗，去干一件又一件有意思的事。

七、要善于助人，不要事事求人

　　要知道，物以类居，我们生活在一个家庭，每个人都无法脱离这个大家庭而生活，我们每个人也不可能不需要别人的帮忙与支持。能出手时就出手，养成助人为乐的好习惯，帮助别人，快乐自己，助人又能悦已的事情我们为什么不多干。当然，人生中难免自己也会遇到需要别人帮忙的地方，但不要事事求人，动不动大事小事都找别人帮忙，要知道自己才是解决问题的第一人，不到万不得已尽量别随意寻求别人的帮助，因为过渡的养成求助别人习惯，只会给自己的促长更深的信赖心理。

八、要敢爱敢恨，不要违背自己的良心

　　爱就要用心去爱，尤其是对爱你的人，你更应当以双倍的爱去回奉给他们。在我的词典里，爱就是父母对子女的爱、子女对长辈的爱、恋人或爱人之间的爱，都是自己最亲密的人，所有我们必须全身心的投入，用自己的真心去呵护他们。虽然这个世界上关注你的人可能很多，但毕竟在关注你飞的多高的同时去关心你飞得累不累的人却仅有这么几个，为此，我们不能违背自己的良心去辜负他们的爱。

九、要记恩报恩，不要过河拆桥

　　滴水之恩，理应涌泉相报，可能我们现在无法去用涌泉回报对此曾经施恩于我们的人，但至少心里应当永远铭记，待机会成熟时再报不迟，只要你怀感激之情于心底。中国人人情观念很强，均归根于恩重如山的说话，只要是在不违法的提前下，我们就应该报恩，并带着感恩的心，去体悟生活的所赐，切忌在任何时候也不能为私已之利去利用别人，更不能过河拆桥。

十、要承责挑担，不要推脱责任。

　　责任，是职责和任务。身为一个成年人，必定要背负对家庭、工作和社会这三大责任。在实际生活中严格约束自我，恪尽职守，时时处处坚持重实际。“说实话、务实事、求实效”，潜心干事、勤勉敬责的承担起一个正常人本该扛起的使命。不要习惯推脱责任,替自我找借口. 你可以做不到胸怀天下，但至少要承担起做人起码责任。光明磊落，进责为首。你也可以做不能到志在千里，但至少要有一种信念，责任意识观念就如快速发展的原动力，一个家庭、一个集体、一个国家，都需要有责任心的人来共同努力，才能达到真正的“和谐”。

The moment

The moment i started typing this

i started thinking your smile

The moment i started typing this

i had u in my mind

The moment i started typing this

i thought of hugging u

The moment i started typing this

i wanted to kiss you

The moment i started typing this

i wanted to hold you.

you had me in your arms,tightly.

What's life?

Warning: suicidal types, do not read further! I will never impose consequences of suicide on people around me. End of warning.

Life is not a gift but punishment.

Life is worse than death.

Life is not worth living.

Life is not worth troubles it causes.

I wanna.. Quit!

I dont wanna see another sad face,on the mirror i hold

i dont wanna fall down again

but if i do stay close,

I dont wanna cry,

i dont want another second of bad thoughts.

Eyes bright,look on the blue sky,

hugs,from ppl that love u,

see,so much beauty..

I wanna fall in love again,

I wanna chase dreams,

I wanna smile and laugh every day,

I wanna stay strong,mentally strong

I wanna be who i am

I'm tired of all the fights

I wanna Quit whatever i'm doing now.

judgemental

i think most people are judgmental. they take one look at you, or someone..and develop this idea of what kind of person he or she is, how does this person talks, what kind of lifestyle this person lives. this is a proven fact because i see it happen all the time. i've seen someone see a person walking with old schoes and ragged clothes and he said "that man must be broke and poor. hahahah"......seriously? i grew up in a market.I've seen tons of people.people look at a fat person and assumes this person eats ALOT. people look at a skinny person and assume that this person MUST be an anorexic and doesnt eat. some people eat alot and dont gain weight, and some fat people dont eat much, yet their still big. do most people care? no. they judge!!!!!

I'm sorry,Maria

I'm so sorry for being jealous

I'm sorry I love you,

Because

I can't stop it.

I'm sorry I've been obsessed with you

I'm sorry to makes you feel bad whenever I tell you how much I miss you

I'm sorry my sweet, sweet beautiful Maria.

I'm sorry

I love you unconditionally.

U6A2

This is Upper Six Arts Two!!

1st row from left:

Patrick then,Tan ye seng,Kelvin sia,Chong shun cherng, Brian lee(class monitor), Pn fatimah, Nuraini(ass. class moniter), faezah,anotnia,amanda and sylvia

2cd row from left:

ng wan sze, foo li hui, ernie ricky, caro lee, mary jong, chai tech hua, zhe wei, jenny wong, shirley wong, chong jia lin, lee sze chien and ng hui moi

this class roXXX !! the craziest ever and lots of kaki ponteng(including me) in it. we played bingo when we are free. we played hole shotting while we stress. and we gets silent when it's economic class!! had lots of nuts and awesome moment with my classmates... muahhh~!!! love u all =)

un-controllable

I know if you minus you..you’re better off

I didnt want to believe it.

But as time goes by, and we don’t talk at all.

But you looked happy.

I tried my best not to be an annoying person for you,

but sometimes it’s just as hard as splitting the earth into two,

I can’t control myself!!

love-emotion

Humans will behold themselves when they knew what’s gonna hurt em

Avoiding, avoiding and avoiding

Making excuses just to free from scars

That’s how things work

I learnt to stay in silence

Silence in watching, staring and looking

At your side, which u’ll never know

This is the way i get things done,

nearby u, which u’ll never know

i cared, i tried and i got hurt

thus, i was leaded by love-emotion

created indirectly from u

LiFe after you!

Ten miles from town and I just broke down

Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road

I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home

To tell you I was wrong but you already know

Believe me I won't stop at nothin'

To see you so I've started runnin'

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter

As long as I'm laughin' with you

I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after

After the life we've been through

'Cause I know there's no life after you

Last time we talked, the night that I walked

Burns like an iron in the back of my mind

I must've been high to say you and I

Weren't meant to be and just wastin' my time

Oh, why did I ever doubt you?

You know I would die here without you

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter

As long as I'm laughin' with you

I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after

After the life we've been through

'Cause I know there's no life after you

You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one

After this time I spent alone

It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind

Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind

So I'm runnin' back to tell you

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter

Without you God knows what I'd do, yeah

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter

As long as I'm laughin' with you

I'm thinkin' 'bout all that still matters is love ever after

After the life we've been through, yeah

Know there's no life after you

Know there's no life after you

Know there's no life after you

Know there's no life after you

Know there's no life after you

Know there's no life after you

Know there's no life after you

Know there's no life after you, yeah

:((

I realize how short life is as I let so much of it pass me by without doing the most important things with the most important person in my life. Days to weeks, weeks to years now my love has turned to tears. For you my love for you I cry wishing I could see your eyes what I would give to see you laugh can you forgive me for my sinful past, for you my love you are my dreams the most beautiful person I have ever seen. They say that time heals all wounds. I strive to be the man that gets to kiss you goodnight. So sorry I am. :((

what i can do...

when u feel sad,take my hand,

i m always here and i whisper to ur heart,

i will not leave u,

im sending u tiny stars of hope..

everything will be ok,will be ok..

take my hand and

when the next day comes i ll smile at u,

i ll stay near u coz i believe in u..

when u feel sad,follow me,

lets dance to the sky,

i can hear u scream ,

i can see ur tears,

i will always be here for u..

take my hand,i believe in u,

i ll always take care of u,

coz i trully care for u,

i can see ur heart......

missing u

Its silly i know but sometimes i think its wrong when i'm happy.i walk around with a goofy grin on my face, i bang into doors because i was engrossed reading messages and i would laugh out loud while reading the same messages,sent by you. i would always think about you and wonder what are you up to and wonder if you're thinking of me, or missing me the same way that i'm missing you... I love you.

light

I love you

I miss you

I'm sorry that it's late

I have nothing but you

Oh~light of my eye and soul

And i have a lot of things to say to you

Because my heart is trying to search you around the world

just to satisfy you

And you don't let your love show the way

why?

Without you life is cold

And much remains of it

For the sake of every organs in me that loves you

My eyes, my heart, my lips, my hands,my soul,my everything

They are wanting you

Badly

to help me and say it please,please

Because i need your love and sometimes it hurts when you denied

I'll find for you the things I have

And tell them to my heart

So that i can find the path to your heart,again.

I love you.

happy birthday maria..

Today is Maria’s birthday. I went to her house, wanted to pass her the birthday present..but sigh. She’s on meeting with her co-workers. So I rushed up to her room, put the present on the top of the table, then quit. Hopefully she likes it. But I saw something, which is hard to believe…

=)

It’s day that I recorded my 1^st guitar picking happy birthday song. I learnt till ‘cry smile cannot’ but still,I did it. Not as pro as others of course.. but I managed to do it. I’m happy.. preparing to burn it out tomorrow.. yay! ! hopefully everything will be fine.

=)

It’s holiday. But I have to work though. L it’s tiring.. but I received lots of new year wishes.. including a message from maria.. =) hehe..